Depression and anxiety crap. Again.

[senusenu]

Monday I woke up at about 10:30 after going to bed at 5:30am. I had to stay up because of my graveyard shift Monday night and was sleeping through the day so I could stay awake that night. Within minutes of waking up, I started experiencing anxiety symptoms- having to work graveyard shift has really been fucking me up. It's completely thrown off my sleep schedule and now I can't sleep regularly or sleep when I lay down most nights without a sedative (I use diphenhydramine, which is the chemical in both Benedryl and Nytol because it's cheap and easy to get). I have used it for so long though that I become pretty resistant to it within a few days of repeated use.

So I went to get my Celexa from the pharmacy since I was out, and I took 3 of them to induce fairly quick calmness, when I normally take 2. As soon as I got home, I called my doctor. My symptoms were getting worse. Graveyard shift, and stress in general, is increasing my GAD on a day to day basis, and I've had two depressive meltdowns in the past couple of weeks.

When I got there, the nurse recorded an accelerated heart rate, and increased blood pressure. Physical, recordable symptoms of an anxiety attack. It was relieving in a way, to have proof it's not "just in my head" and that I'm not making it up or "being weak" or some other complete bullshit. I talked to the doctor for nearly an hour, going over my symptoms, my triggers, nightmares, and so on. She wants to refer me to a psych, but in the meantime, I'm now taking BuSpar in addition to Celexa, twice a day. I'm going back in three weeks for a review.

I am hoping that this helps. I just have to wait and see.